Give & Take: How Much Is Too Much?
I have a confession, I am a people pleaser. I will say yes to things to avoid an argument or because I feel that I would be rude by saying no. I have been intimate with a person because I felt I had too and if I wasn’t he would be mad or never speak to me again. I burn the candle at both ends constantly.
And it gets worse as the holidays approach. I find myself saying yes, double booking myself and stretching myself thinner than my yoga mat. Holiday parties, travel for Thanksgiving and Christmas, final client meetings to close that last deal of the year. Don’t get me wrong, I absolutely love this time of year but by the time the holidays are over, I am spent. Every January I feel the need to reset - sober January, resetting the healthy eating, re-evaluating relationships. While this is not necessarily a bad thing, I find myself asking the same question every January. Why do I push myself to my limit? Why do I not give so much to everyone else, leaving nothing for myself? Do any of these sound familiar to you:
Saying yes to a drink with someone I was not interested in or wanted to actually spend time with because I felt mean saying no.
Letting a guy buy me a drink and then feeling obligated to talk to him.
Saying yes to going somewhere with a girlfriend when I needed to rest.
Staying out late so I wasn’t perceived as “lame”.
Taking that first, second, third shot even though I knew it would not end well.
Accepting coffee with an ex, when I knew it was going to drain my soul and it was all for him to feel better about how things ended.
Allowing. Someone to take opportunities from me at work, when I had worked so hard to get them, but didn’t want to fight and appear “high maintenance”.
Some things I am committed to this holiday season:
Where have you given more than you have to give? What could you have done differently and what will you do next time you need to take space for you?
